Toddler Tantrums

 

Remember when we were expecting that little bundle of joy, that tiny human that relies on us for everything?  We think that the baby is precious and of course he/she is!  Do you remember seeing other mums and dads, grandparents in shops/supermarkets trying to deal with a child screaming and stamping their feet because they don't get what they want and feel sorry for their parents and thinking 'my child won't be like that'??  Well imagine one day we go out to do our weekly shopping and hey presto! it is our little angel has turned into that child whose parents we felt sorry for.   So what do we do?  how do we cope? 

 

Coping with toddler tantrums is just what we have to experience as our child grows and develops into their own little person although it is not a pleasant experience seeing our angel all of a sudden turn into a screaming heap on the floor or in the trolley!

Although dealing with a tantrum is and can be difficult but those looks you get are from those with children and those disapproving looks are just from those people who do not already have children (yet!!).  So rest assured, you are not a 'bad parent'.  I am a mum to a little boy and although he is normally as good as gold he cant have scream the place down when he doesnt get what he wants...but he is just a baby and is learning to test the boundaries and what helps me is that I know he will grow out of it (until he turns into a teenager but thats a whole different kettle of fish altogether and is a long way off yet so I have a tendency to put that thought to the back of my mind)  but having said all this, I am grateful that this is isnt done on a daily basis unlike some toddlers. 

So, why does my child have a tantrum and what can I do to help him/her? 

I've found that my son's tantrums are caused by boredom, frustration of not being able to do something, is hungry, not getting what he wants or if you are a working parent like us, to get attention.  Tantrums can also be caused by a new baby into the family. 

It is possible believe it or not to minimise a tantrum which I have tried myself and found that it works.  As I am stickler for routine, I try to keep to a schedule which I am the first to admit to doesnt always work!  I just keep to a breakfast time, snack time (cut up fruit and veg like carrots etc with the occasional treat), drink soft juice with low or no sugar, nap time and then dinner, bath, bottle of milk, bed and story time. 

When my son decides that he is bored playing with his blocks, cars, in his bubble car, trampoline etc and starts throwing things around the living room or wherever we happen to be, I sit down on the floor and try to explain to him that he isnt allowed to throw things in case he hurts himself or anyone else then I would try to read a book to him or put on his favourite cartoon in an attempt to calm him down a little.  As a first time mum, I used to give him something to make everything better when a tantrum started but I listened to my mum who said that I shouldnt be rewarding him for screaming as that can make him scream even louder and more as he knows he will get his own way in the end if he keeps on screaming.  Once we've got over the screaming match, I would give my son a hug and kiss just to let him know that everything is ok but he isnt allowed to do whatever it is that he just did.   Mum's are great to listen to as after all, she has been there, done that, got the t-shirt!


Now, what do you do when a tantrum starts? 

Keep your son/daughter out of harms way, keep yourself calm as by getting yourself into a state isnt going to help so take a little time out and pretend the tantrum isnt happening by just walking away a lttle but still keeping a wee sneaky eye on him/her, doing this can help calm your toddler as they will think that 'no one is watching me so what's the point?'.